To those of you wondering why we haven’t posted any updates in the last couple of days, it’s because I wanted to finish my evaluation of the Alaskan medical system. I am happy, and here, to say they did an amazing job in both Wrangell and Ketchikan!
I developed an infection in a horrible place. The men out there are probably thinking… “Uh oh… Not there!!” and indeed that’s not where it started. But that’s where it got to! The family jewels had swollen up like an early investment in Microsoft!
The doctors in Wrangell were so concerned about the state of this asshole they wanted to medivac me out on July 4th!
Perhaps it was the massive increase in courage I had suddenly developed, or the lack of available sober pilots on a national holiday, we chose instead to leave early the morning of July 5th and head back to Ketchikan for surgery.
On arrival, the Wrangell clinic had called ahead, and the doctor came in saying he was “looking for an angry asshole” which got a chuckle from everyone. The butt jokes continued… “Full moon” was a common one. Everyone was in on the fun and it lightened the mood.
Full anesthesia was required, and for about 30 minutes there was a hand deeper up my ass than a Jeff Dunham puppet! The doctor proclaimed the surgery a success, but required that I stay admitted overnight.
My pain level and courage had started to diminish by 8pm. Hourly vital sign checks, a lovely dinner of uncrustables peanut butter & jelly (on wheat at least), and a regular TV got me through the night.
My room had a beautiful view of the mountains, the staff was fantastic, and the facilities very modern and comfortable. I highly recommend the Ketchikan hospital if you have to go in for a procedure. I could even see our boat from my room!
I was discharged early in the morning and walked back to the boat. I still couldn’t take a taxi because sitting continues to be impossible. It wasn’t far, only about a half of a mile. Once back on the Sea XII, in an ironic twist, I dispatched my daughters to the store to buy me some maxi pads.
All’s well that ends well… But the moral of the story is, don’t ignore the lump on your hump when you wipe!
